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Summoners Suck

4th October, 2005. 6:35 pm. Up Yours, Walt Whitman!(rapunzel452)

From the most recent session of Revelations:

"I have my pistol, I have my poetry. Bring the fucking noise."


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18th June, 2005. 8:46 pm. Not again!(sparrow015)

This is for an online game I play called Ragnarok Online, it's vaugely animeish, so I like it. XD
My priestess is walking through Glast Heim Graveyard, where dead things lurk and I being a holy person, can kill them deader than dead. My priestess's name is Sparra...so the story goes....

Sparra walking through the graveyard, healbombing zombies, ghouls, Wraiths and Evil Druids and kicking some ass!

A Hunter Fly zooms by, now I can't kill Hunter Flies, 'cause apparently I left my mace in storage. ^^;

So I teleport away! Right into the mvp monster and his mob, one meteor storm, a sweatdrop and a dead priestess later, Sparra is lying on the ground showing the world her purple shorts and the Dark Lord (the mvp monster with his mob) with his Dark Illusion mob decide to taunt my priestess by hovering over it. I being the pervert I am, decide to comment on the Dark Lord hovering above me in robes to my guild.

Sparra: Hey guys! Just got killed by the Dark Lord again. XD
ReebFood: Again?!? Isn't this like the 40th time?
Sparra: no idea, I lost count after 20.
Pookakyss: poor jinxy.
Sparra: Reeb, you must avenge me!
ReebFood: *sweatdrop*
Sparra: Yes! Go avenge me and kill the Dark Lord and his pink sparkly thong of doom!
*silence ensues*
ReebFood: pink sparkly thong of doom
Pookakyss: pink sparkly thong of doom
Sparra: *nods frantically*

It kind of degraded from there. But I always seem to get killed by the Dark Lord that it has become a running gag and my guild nick is Dark Lord Bait. ^^;

Current mood: ditzy.

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15th June, 2005. 12:53 pm.(bananasloth)

WOO first post for me! *dances*

Ok, I actaully have been going nuts for videogames lately, and my brother is really the only one home to go through it with me. Our latest trip has been through the game Champions of Norrath. He was a Barbarian named Dandar, and I was an Elf Knight named Jenova. We had our moments heh.

Dandar: Man! That vampire is one ugly dude.

Jenova: Oh come on, you'd still do him

Dandar: HEY! Just becuase I'm a barbarian, doesn't mean I'd do ANYTHING!

Jenova: *funny look*

Dandar: *defeated* Yeah, fine.

*still giggling*

Current mood: cheerful.

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15th June, 2005. 12:51 pm. Vampire story!(smoot)

The game: Vampire: The Masquerade, a usually dark-and-gritty depressing goth-fest.
The GM: Yours truly, who is bad at depressing goth-fests.
The players:
Nathan, playing Grant Foss, country bumpkin Gangrel.
Taylor, playing Marcus Jackson, overweight manipulative Setite.

The other character: Laurel, a vampire hunter that was manipulating the manipulators manipulatory ways. I don't know, really. At this point, Laurel is pretending to be a vampire in order to get them down to the Temple of Set to stop a dark ritual. Foss is in on the plan. Marcus, being a SETITE, is not, since he's, y'know, GOING to the ritual.

The scene: Preparing to drive from Egypt to Sudan.

Laurel: "We should get moving."
Marcus: "We should, but it'll be day soon. We'll need to move fast, and find a place to stay safe."
Foss: "It's okay! Laurel can drive!"

A beat passes.

Taylor, as Marcus: "Note to self: Foss said Laurel can drive during the day..."
Matt, as Laurel: "Note to self: KILL FOSS DEAD."
Matt, pretending to be Foss: "Note to self: Man, I want a cheeseburger!"

After breaking the Temple of Set, stopping the ritual only partially, wrecking the car TWICE, and triggering a portal into Hell, Foss entered the Gaming Hall of Fame, to the point where the word "Foss" has become a verb, meaning "to blunder in a manner most incredible."

"Dammit, you've really Fossed things up now."

This is Matt, STILL wondering what Foss did to the Temple of Set.

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14th June, 2005. 11:37 pm.(jainasia)

Okay... my silly little stories.
AD&D game.

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Current mood: amused.

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14th June, 2005. 10:41 pm. The Wacky World of Warcraft(rapunzel452)

I do not yet have a computer or a connection that will let me run this marvelous game... so I watch Matt play. Some past goodies:

~Matt's character hops on a gryphon and flies. Whee. After 5 minutes of peaceful flight to Ironforge, he pans back the camera to realize that another player took off at the same time, headed for the same destination... and the ensuing animation collision made it look like the gryphons were having sex in midair.
Frankly, I'm impressed we went five minutes without noticing... and I feel really sorry for the other guy, since he was in the back and was acutely aware of it the whole time.

~Ah, to be stomping through the dinosaur-filled Un'Goro Crater when you're too low in level to be there...
Matt: *tearing through the jungle* Do NOT go north! North is BAD!
Nute: *as he goes racing past him* SOUTH IS WORSE!

~Matt: *nervously entering an ominous-looking cave* I shouldn't be here...
Me: Oh, come on, how bad could it be?
*A level 57 character comes booking out of cave and passes Matt at top speed*
Me & Matt: ...

~And let me close by saying: if you haven't seen an enormous ogre breakin' it down in the middle of Ironforge, brother, you haven't lived. ;)

Current mood: tired.

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14th June, 2005. 8:50 am. A few bits from a recent WoD game.(dkellis)

New World of Darkness system, the one for squishy crunchy humans. We haven't actually gotten into the game that much, but the character creation and prologue shows just how this game is likely to go.


"My character's the noir-ish detective, and so every time he falls into noir-ish depression and cynicism, he's just indulging his Vice, so he'll get one Willpower point back."

"And then my character will cheer his character up, and get all her Willpower points back, since she's following her Virtue of Hope."

"... what?"

"It's like you're my Willpower battery."

"I swear we did not plan this out beforehand."


"It's the World of Darkness, emphasis on 'Darkness'."

"Actually, the emphasis is on 'World'."

"How about emphasis on 'of'?"

"Hm... 'of'."



"Dude. You just rolled three sixes in the House of Heaven."

Current mood: dorky.

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13th June, 2005. 10:24 pm. Story Time!(smoot)

So I'm in a Mage: the Ascension game, run by my friend Taylor, with two players; Nathan, and myself. My character is Chris Brucato, a Son of Ecstasy mage who makes his living as a rodeo clown/sharpshooter half-time show, basically, and Nathan's character is Lucius, a Hermetic mage from a magical moon colony on Io.

It's Mage, I swear, this isn't THAT weird. Regardless, we're a ways in the woods, and trying to do some investigation.

Matt: "So what do we have here?"
Taylor: "You can't tell exactly. With your Prime sense, you can sense that there was indeed magic cast here. Very strong."
Matt: "Hmm. Okay. Going to use that with third-level Time magic, to look back in time at the magical energies here."
Taylor: "Gotcha. Roll... okay, three successes. Using Prime/Time, you... did you do that on purpose? Gah. Anyway, you get a bead on the time of the ritual being three days ago, and there are a lot of energies there."
Matt: "Adding Life into the mix, sensing how many there are. Four successes."
Taylor: "Ah, good choice. With that success rate, there are three rings of life around the center, where the main source of magical energy is. There are nine little life forces in each ring, in lines of three. You count five smaller life forces moving around during this, outside of the rings, towards the treeline."
Matt: "Okay, that's a ritual, seems like... but five little forces?"
Taylor: "Yep. Lucius, what are you up to?"
Nathan: "Okay, let me see..."

And they continue working through the source of this ritual, but with Chris Brucato pacing around the clearing, muttering to himself about these five life forces that don't seem to be involved in the main ritual but could be intrinsic to its source. Perhaps they interfered, maybe some sort of sacrifice...

After exhausting our research, Lu and Chris return to his trailer at the rodeo, and discuss things over reheated dinner. In real life at this point, we're grilling out on Nathan's grill, and have sat down to eat. About 40 minutes have passed.

Then, all of a sudden, something clicks in my head, I LEAP out of my chair, knocking it over, slam my fist down on my book, and shout.


Nathan and Taylor nearly choke on their burgers.

"SQUIRRELS! The five things! They're not important! They're squirrels! In the woods!"

"Have you been trying to figure that out all this time?" Taylor asks.

"YES! And it wasn't important! It was F-ING SQUIRRELS!"

Not everything is as important as it seems.

Stupid squirrels.

This is Matt, who since then has been a bit more practical when looking back in time at magical rituals in the woods. All those times it comes up, ya know.

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5th June, 2005. 9:59 pm. Fun with Skies of Arcadia(rapunzel452)

smoot and I have this compulsion to MST absolutely everything we watch, even the stuff we love. To that end, I present this additional dialogue to Skies of Arcadia (RPG for the GameCube, go play it right now FLYING PIRATE SHIPS PEOPLE) (oh, FYI, Gilder is the womanizing rogue of the game):

Osman, a gaudy lump of a character, to Vyse, the male lead: Just say the word and I'll show you just how much of a woman I am...

Me & Matt: ..........

Me (as Vyse): Gilder! The chick in the items shop wants to talk to you!

Matt (as Gilder): That's a chick?!

Me (as Vyse): Oh, and you might want to stop hitting on the guy that makes the potions.

Matt (as Gilder): ...That's a guy?!

I do love the ambiguity of video game characters' genders sometimes... ^_^


Current mood: calm.

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3rd June, 2005. 9:42 pm. Obligatory Welcome... and Fun With Magic Names(rapunzel452)

Yay, first post from the mod... so, here's the deal. If you have funny gaming stories, they go here. Doesn't matter what type of game: tabletop, online, yelling MST3K-style at a video game as you play, they're all welcome. To that end, I'll get things started with what I believe was dubbed the Line of Night for the session it occured in: my character, a summoner, was explaining materia orbs to one of her aeons:

"That one is Thunder materia. I use it to cast... lightning, oddly enough."


Current mood: awake.

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